I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the affects the choices we make in life have on us as time passes. More importantly, I am having trouble understanding people who do not fully understand that the choices you make either willingly or by coercion are just that – CHOICES. You play a role in them in both instances.
Let’s say there is a couple hunting for a new home. The wife has a set of criteria for the home and the husband has another list. Well as they are going from house to house each of them have their on preconceived images to fulfill so this becomes a grueling process because they can’t seem to agree on a house. After weeks of this they decide to sit down and dissect their individual lists and come up with a compromise.
The wife has surrendered one of her demands – central air conditioning and the husband has given up a two car garage. With their new list in hand they begin the search again and find a house that on the surface each of them really likes. The wife loves it, the husband really likes it but he would much rather have one just like it with a two-car garage. They agree to look at several more homes and none of them measure up to the initial home without the two-car garage so they decide to make an offer.
Long story short, the couple purchases the wife’s dream home and starts on the path of making this their home. As the years roll by the husband can’t get over his desire for a two-car garage and is constantly moaning about it to his wife. She becomes increasingly irritated by the many arguments over a garage and tunes her husband out every time he begins a tirade.
The issue with the garage festers and after what seems like a million years of marriage this couple has drifted so far apart that they can’t seem to agree on anything. The home they were trying to build has become a fortress of anxiety and the husband places all of the blame on the wife.
This may seem rather trivial, and it may not be the best example to use to illustrate my point that we make choices in life and we have to learn to live with them and make the best of each situation.
The ultimate question to ask yourself is, “Was this a clear case of coercion and I had no say in the matter or did I choose to compromise?”
Life is full of choices and unfortunately we can not go back and erase history. We must begin to live for today and accept the many choices we have made in life and learn from them. If we feel the decision was a mistake – don’t repeat it.
Peace,
SS
