Choices...How do we accept them?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the affects the choices we make in life have on us as time passes. More importantly, I am having trouble understanding people who do not fully understand that the choices you make either willingly or by coercion are just that – CHOICES. You play a role in them in both instances.

Let’s say there is a couple hunting for a new home. The wife has a set of criteria for the home and the husband has another list. Well as they are going from house to house each of them have their on preconceived images to fulfill so this becomes a grueling process because they can’t seem to agree on a house. After weeks of this they decide to sit down and dissect their individual lists and come up with a compromise.

The wife has surrendered one of her demands – central air conditioning and the husband has given up a two car garage. With their new list in hand they begin the search again and find a house that on the surface each of them really likes. The wife loves it, the husband really likes it but he would much rather have one just like it with a two-car garage. They agree to look at several more homes and none of them measure up to the initial home without the two-car garage so they decide to make an offer.

Long story short, the couple purchases the wife’s dream home and starts on the path of making this their home. As the years roll by the husband can’t get over his desire for a two-car garage and is constantly moaning about it to his wife. She becomes increasingly irritated by the many arguments over a garage and tunes her husband out every time he begins a tirade.

The issue with the garage festers and after what seems like a million years of marriage this couple has drifted so far apart that they can’t seem to agree on anything. The home they were trying to build has become a fortress of anxiety and the husband places all of the blame on the wife.

This may seem rather trivial, and it may not be the best example to use to illustrate my point that we make choices in life and we have to learn to live with them and make the best of each situation.

The ultimate question to ask yourself is, “Was this a clear case of coercion and I had no say in the matter or did I choose to compromise?”

Life is full of choices and unfortunately we can not go back and erase history. We must begin to live for today and accept the many choices we have made in life and learn from them. If we feel the decision was a mistake – don’t repeat it.

Peace,
SS

I'm Back!!!

I can't believe it has been more than a month since my last posting, but life just gets in the way sometimes. I haven't been completely neglecting the purpose of this blog, which is to keep me on the writing path, just been writing in other ways.

The good news is that I have two chapters of my first novel complete and have received positive feedback. Now that I know the story I'm trying to tell makes sense and is of interest to more than moi, I've got to keep plugging along.

It's also been one of those "Be careful what you ask for" times because I have been very busy with newsletter editing, design and other tasks that keep the cash flowing and help to pay the bills. The only downfall has been my greeting cards have been pushed to the back burner and they are not only a decent source of extra income - I enjoy doing them.

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The Wine & Gold Have Made Us Proud!!!!!!

I have not been a true fan of the Cleveland Cavaliers for a number of years, but the acquisition of LeBron James sparked a renewed interest that has peaked with this aweseome season! Many may not understand, but if you are a sports fan and live in Cleveland I'm sure you can relate. We needed and wanted something to cheer about and the Cavs did it this year!!! The Detroit series was great - high energy basketball that kept you on the edge of your seat praying. I will now anticipate next year with the same intensity I have reserved for the Browns.
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Covenant is Coming, The Covenant is Coming!!!!

If you hadn't guessed I am truly excited about the addition of Cleveland to The Covenant with Black America tour. Cleveland and the state of Ohio for that matter needs to get on board this train and begin to do something positive for the black community. If you're reading Cleveland - make sure you're in the house and representing because we need to do some positive things in this town!

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Grey's Anatomy & 24 thanks for a wonderful season!!!

I am both happy and sad to see the 2005 television season come to a close. Now that it has ended maybe I can get more work done on this blog, my book etc. On the other hand I can't wait to find out what's going to happen next at Seattle Grace or how Jack Bauer is going to escape his recent capture by the Chinese.

I have become a fan of Shonda Rhimes. What can I say, she makes you proud to be a woman and especially a black woman with one of the most highly rated television shows on today! Go Shonda! She is one helluva writer and she has roped me in just when I said I was cutting back on my television viewing. If you haven't become a member of the cult, you will after a couple of episodes and then you will be like me, searching the Internet for more. You don't have to look far, the writers have a blog and to hear more from Shonda and the gang, click the link and learn more.

I blame my mother for my fixation with 24. Last Thanksgiving I called her on Saturday to see what she was up to and she told me she was sitting transfixed in from of the television watching old episodes of 24. Having nothing constructive to do that day (well, nothing I wanted to do) I flipped the channel and became hooked! That weekend I took in all the 24 I could get and every weekend after that I was searching TBS or TNT or any station looking for the 24 marathons. That continued during the Christmas holidays and led up to me going to Blockbuster and renting the first six episodes. Reality set in at the checkout counter so I came home and went to the Cleveland Public Library website and joined the hordes of fans on the waiting list for Seasons 1-4. When the season started in January I had watched seasons 1, 2, 4 and I caught up on three at the beginning of this season. Did I not say HOOKED!

I've written more than I should have today, but that's what happens when you stay away. I'll keep it short next post. Until then...

What a Week!

I thought the week would never end! There are about four different projects going on at work and getting everyone to do their part is like pulling the proverbial teeth, but it looks like we are on track to have a successful event in May. Then there is the newsletter and two brochures I've been commissioned to design and let us not forget Greeting Cards I need to make and market. As a friend said to me this morning "Be careful what you pray for!" I'm happy to be busy - I just wish other things would fall into place and make my life a little easier.

My wonderful computer that I will not speak of in anything less than a flattering fashion is holding on, but heaven knows I need a new one, thus the extra work which is made more difficult to complete when Bessie here is having a bad day so please pray for Bessie and me we need it!

To compound the busy week, my car would not start Thursday morning and here it is Saturday afternoon and I am still without transportation. Does anyone else feel it, or is it just me? I think some bad gods are frowning on me, but I will persevere and have faith that "this too shall pass."

Received a wonderful email from my college friend Z! Was happy to hear from her, we hadn't talked in a number of years and she sounds happy and busy!

Also learned that my good friend's daughter was accepted into Stanford's MBA/JD program for the fall, which was great news because she is a very bright and capable young woman who I'm sure we will be reading about soon.

Speaking of reading, I just finished Snake Walkers by J. Everett Prewitt. What a great book. A good portion of the book is set in Cleveland, OH which happens to be hometown for both Prewitt and me. Snake Walkers recounts the Civil Rights Era through the eyes of a young reporter, and offers a new perspective on the movement but the most important theme running throughout the novel is the importance of family. It is a wonderful read, so if you have the time stop by the local bookstore and pick up Snake Walkers, you won't regret it. To learn more about Prewitt and Snake Walkers, click on his name it will take you to his Website.

I've recently completed the first chapter in a yet unnamed novel, which I must get back to. Will post later about the atrocities taking place at Duke University. I've read some interesting commentary on the matter. Check out Rachels Tavern for her take on "White Guys Gone Wildng".

Racism both past and present seems to be on the minds of many lately. Check out Tayari Jones' blog for Pearl Cleage's insightful essay on holding a reading at the Margaret Mitchell House. Powerful!

Marriage is for white people...hmmmm?

My friend Sharon keeps me up to date with the latest interesting tidbits in the New York Times, Washington Post and any number of newspapers throughout the country and today was no different when I opened my email to find a suggestion from the Post, "Marriage is for white people". It was a hectic day and I didn't have time to read the piece right then so I printed it and brought it home to read.

What a read! Joy Jones is to be commended for this well researched and well written article which suggests that black folk have just given up on the "...until death do us part." I, like Jones, grew up during a time when two-parent families were the norm and not until I basically reached adulthood did I begin to notice that a lot of people around me were saying "See ya!" Yet even with many folks getting divorced and many of my friends now having children without the benefit of a husband I still felt that marriage was in my future.

I however, was not rushing and reeling to get to the altar I had a lot of living to do before I would say "I do". I can't say I did it all, but I don't have many regrets about waiting until I was kissing 40 to take that plunge. It was not a quick decision - my husband and I dated and lived together for more than 10 years before making it legal, and ultimately that's how I looked at it for a number of years. It's just a piece of paper. We committed to each other years before and I know that the first time he proposed I was not ready and brother wasn't either.

While I could relate with a lot of what the women and men interviewed said about marriage it was sad to read that so many of us, particularly women are opting not to enter into these unions.

The Secret Life of Bees, a must read!

It's been more than a week since my last post and I don't know where to begin. I have just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd's wonderful story of a young girl's search for love, acceptance and the nurturing that you would think only your mother could provide. Wrong! Lilly, the narrator and star of this beautiful story, finds nurturing in the most unexpected place - well unexpected for those who are unfamiliar with the DNA found in black women. If you haven't read it, please do and I promise you won't regret it.

Oscar Surprises!!

Couldn't believe the Academy actually chose Hustle & Flow's "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" as best original score! I saw the movie and basically enjoyed it. What I found interesting was the fact that the character seeking a new life was the pimp and in most movies the prostitute is the person seeking a better life.

Heard on the Tom Joyner show this morning that it really is a modern version of the 70's blaxploitation hit "The Mack". I don't really recall "The Mack" so I'll have to find it on tape and take a peak.

Also truly surprised that "Crash" took home best picture! Will admit I have not seen it, but will check it out this week. Seems that in some areas we are taking baby steps forward - that is realizing that issues such as racism do still exist and must be addressed!

Hormone levels must be elevated

Riding to the store today I was listening to Heather Headley's new CD and the track "I Didn't Mean To" caught my ear and had me nearly in tears! The song is so sad, but so beautiful. I also loved the fact that a sister was singing about how we (ladies) also do dirt. Don't know why it touched me so. I haven't been in that situation. Maybe it has to do with the characters I am currently writing about. Similar story line in that Mommy leaves, but not due to getting her swerve on elsewhere.